I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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