She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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