i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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