i just google imaged poop.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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