his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
