He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
