The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
