we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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