Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You've changed since you got that strap on
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
