check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
