i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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