i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I party with great urgency now.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
