better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
be right there i have to get my cape
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
