i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
