i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
