I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
third nipple confirmed
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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