Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
