so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
