I feel like abortions should bother me more
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
