My nipple is on Facebook.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
