I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize