Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
