She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
