I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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