She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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