Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
