It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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