We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize