My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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