Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
