Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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