She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize