It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
