I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
