i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
