He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize