i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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