Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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