Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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