We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
