so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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