Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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