Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
how does that bad decision feel?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
