Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize