you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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