Already got asked if we're dating
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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