whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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