xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
