whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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