Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
