nut hugger
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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