If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
