sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
