I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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