Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
