I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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