He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
we're so committed to being not committed
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
