I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Why are your pants in the freezer?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
