How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
